20 Ways to Include the Loved Ones We’ve Lost

One of the best things about celebrations is being around the ones we love. This became even more apparent after coming into contact with a number of brides who had lost a loved one and wanted to find a way to have them be a part of the celebration.

Below are some ideas of how to recognize a member of the family who is no longer with us, without casting a shadow over the festivities. You may choose to share this moment with your party or create a separate time and space for you to take some time for reflection. However you decide to incorporate the memory of family or friends, be sure that the expression embodies the person and/or relationship you had.

Check out our PINTEREST BOARD for visuals.

KEEP A PHOTO OF THEM ON YOU

This has been one of the most popular and talked about ways of being able to include lost loved ones on the big day. You can have a picture of them placed onto the back of your shoe in a charm, within an embellished charm to be placed on your bouquet, jacket pocket, or dress. For men, you are able to include a photo of them within the cufflink.

THE DATE

This is one of the most cleaver, meaningful, and possibly understated ways of incorporating a loved one. Make the date of the event in remembrance of the individual by placing it on the date of their birthday, anniversary, milestone, or favourite time of the year.

CHOOSING COLOURS

Another great way to have the departed loved one present throughout the day is to have their favourite colour/theme be the guiding light of your party. If your grandmother was especially fond of purple find a beautiful shade of lavender or eggplant. Or your father was particularly fond of the sea tap into the nautical theme or seek out a dynamic shade of blue.

SET UP A TABLE OF PHOTOS

Have an area designated for an elegant set up of various photos and mementos that can be viewed by your guests in memory of your loved one.

PLAY A SONG

During the ceremony and/or reception incorporate a song that they really enjoyed.

WEAR A MEMORY OF THEIRS, OR THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU

There are so many ways to have an item of theirs incorporated into the event. Attaching a piece of fabric to clothing, wearing their cufflinks, using their perfume/cologne, their favourite flower in your bouquet, using their ties as bouquet wraps, or jewelry that was theirs or that was given to you.

CONSIDER THEM IN YOUR TAKE-AWAY

Use their spirit to guide the choice in gifts that you will be giving your guests. This can be done through a commemorative message on the packaging, donations to a foundation/charity that they were passionate about, or leaving guests with a delicious novelty and family favourite recipe e.g. Nana’s Mac ’n’ Cheese or Uncle Jim’s Ginger Snaps

DESSERTS

Much like the idea above, maybe your loved one was known for their sweet tooth, or a dessert they made was known and loved by anyone that had the pleasure of trying it. Incorporate that recipe into your dessert of cake feature for the event.

LIGHT A CANDLE

This can be done during the ceremony with your mate, you could have a candle burn for the duration of the event to signify the individual(s), place a lit candle at the table, or have all of your guests participate in a lighting ceremony.

SAVE THEM A SEAT, LITERALLY

You can mark a place for this special person in both the ceremony and the reception. This can be done by simply placing a flower, picture, or personal artifact on a chair e.g., baseball cap, glasses, smoking pipe.

CREATE A VASE

Another great idea is to have flowers given to each of the guests on their way in and at some point having each member come up and place the flowers into a vase. This vase, like a candle, can act as a constant reminder of that person’s place within the festivities.

WEARABLE WITH THEIR JEWELRY

During the research for this blog, I came across a great suggestion from Huffington Post that suggests creating a wearable item with their old jewelry. This particular example used the wedding ring of the bride’s father as the clasp to a bracelet that was made out of his necklace.

MENTION THEM IN THE CEREMONY

Depending on your comfort in exposure, this can be done in a number of ways. Having a moment of silence, saying a few words, within the program dedicating space to them, or as inkedweddings.com suggests, a simple tag placed on the program is an elegant and understated way of accomplishing this.

WALKING DOWN THE AISLE

If it is a bride’s father that is no longer with us, we try to find someone that carries the memory of him. This can be done with your mother, brother, uncle, grandfather, a bride even opted to carry a note that her ailing father had left with her and carried this down the aisle as his spirit.

RELEASE

A really great visual effect and way to commemorate lost ones is to have a time during the ceremony or reception where you and/or your guests release balloons, butterflies, or lanterns into the air as a way to pay tribute to loved ones.

SPECIAL PLACE

Sometimes we can capture the spirit of our loved ones by having the event in a special place like the family cottage, a certain park or beach location that was visited, or a particular landmark that the person was known to be fond of.

INCLUDE THEIR FAVOURITE PAST TIME

Maybe they were a wine drinker with a refined palette, or an infamous cigar smoker, however it is that you remember your loved one, incorporate this activity into the event with a simple, thought out, set up.

DINNER DETAILS

Try to have one of their favourite meals as a part of your dinner menu. You can make this even more explicit by placing a few words within the menu at the table.

MAKE A TOAST

This can be done at either the ceremony and/or reception, depending on your level of comfort and the means of giving remembrance.

Ceremony: When given away the bride can acknowledge her departed father and name him as the one to be giving her away in spirit, giving a moment of silence, reciting a poem, or lighting candle.

Reception: Say a few words that brings up a funny story about them or shares advice that they had given you, giving the guests a synopsis of what that person would be like at the event if they were able to be with us, having a moment of silence. Also, a really great idea is to create a toasting station with a picture and favourite drink of choice available for guests to go over and share.

BRING THEM TO THE DANCEFLOOR

Play a song they loved and make it an essential part of the party. You and your mate could dance to this song, or, you or your mate could take the loved one’s partner out onto the dancefloor to enjoy in this moment with you.